A life by chocolate entails finding sweetness in the light and dark. Moreso, it's about addiction to cocoa. An insatiable sweet tooth doesn't hurt. Well, not until the yucky tartar buildup and stuff. To the point, I strive to entertain with topics such as the utter hilarity and cuteness of children; the challenges of dating, my related rationale for celibacy; and chocolate as a precious remedy for it all. Thanks for sampling Life by Chocolate. I hope you keep coming back for more.
Monday, May 4, 2015
It's not enough to survive the A-Z Challenge, we're supposed to write some sort of insightful reflection post. Thus, in retrospect, I've brought Martha back to display her Hefty Heffer Hideaway, as a reminder of where she hides a Cuisinart, handcuffs, salad bowl, and insider trade secrets. That's as insightful as it got around here. I'll add that I couldn't stop laughing throughout April. Thank you for that, and I'm sorry for the nausea. It's Martie's fault. But your comments were over-the-top hilarious. Here are some of my favorites:
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and what a month it's been. Let's take a look back. Shall we? You've seen my Hefty Heffer Hideaway, with enough flappy fat in which to stash a Cuisinart. You caught glimpses from my scandalous sex tape series. I sported my very manly chest, then belched and grabbed my crotch, when on Testosterone. I cleaned up inside with the handy dandy Vaginal Vac. Don't forget that a clean beaver always gets more wood. Last night, some Yearlong Yuletide cheer did me in. Best of all, Arnold thinks it's great. And so do you. Admit it. I'll sell it all to you -- the whole alphabet's worth of items combined in this lovely Zen of Martha Stewart's Adult Lifestyle Combination Package -- for $70 million. Just buy it. You know you want to. *Wink.* Is this *bleep'n* thing finally over? *Bleep* That little *bleep* who runs this blog. She's a sick *bleep*! Oh, hi. I didn't know the cameras were still rolling. Tootles!
Labels: #marthastewartisanymphomaniacandarnoldthinksthat'sgreat!, A-Z Challenge, It's a wrap, martha stewart's zen gift package
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Labels: #ArnoldScwarzeneggerthinksit'sgreat, A-Z Challenge, Martha Stewart: sloshed? or a natural drunk? yearlong yuletide cheer
Monday, April 27, 2015
I'm Martha Stewart, and I like to fantasize as much as the next over-sexed old *bleep* who hasn't gotten laid since the invention of the egg-beater. So I created Martha Stewart's X-Rated Fantasy Kit. This rather handy kit comes with a dark and sultry mannequin with removable clothing and anatomically correct genitalia; a lit candle; and two voyeurs, because - really - who doesn't enjoy the thrill of exhibitionism? And now, if you'll excuse me...Martha shoves the mannequin onto the floor and pounces atop it/him. Jack Black jumps in to join the fun. Queen Elizabeth holds her "I'm so over Commoners" glare for several hours. We won't go into any more detail. Let your fantasies take over from here.